Mr. Bow Tie Read online

  Mr. Bow Tie

  A Contemporary Retelling of the Daddy Long Legs Story

  For Ben, Maggie, and Natalie. You guys are the best part of my life!

  Thanks to friends and family for helping me get this novella ready for publishing. I couldn’t do it without you!

  “It isn't the big troubles in life that require character. Anybody can rise to a crisis and face a crushing tragedy with courage, but to meet the petty hazards of the day with a laugh - I really think that requires spirit.”

  ― Jean Webster, Daddy Long Legs

  To: [email protected]

  From: [email protected]

  Subject: Dear Mr. Kind Donor Man

  Date: August 20, 2015

  They said I didn't have to address you or anyone specific in these emails, but I've always found it easier to write to a person. It is actually convenient that I don't know much about you - that way I can imagine you just the way I want. All I know is that you always wear a bow tie to your meetings with the board of directors, and, judging by your actions, that you are nice. Mrs. Lippett called you Mr. Bow Tie during our interview. She said it with a smirk. I asked more questions about you, but she said you wanted to remain anonymous. It will be hard for you now though - if I see a rich-looking, nice guy, and he happens to be sporting a bow tie, chances are it’s you. There aren’t many out there.

  I know you won’t be reading these emails even though they will be forwarded to you - Mrs. Lippett said you are a very busy man and don't want to get involved other than donating money and choosing recipients. That actually works great for me. I get an imaginary pen pal who I can feel free to say whatever I want to, and you can keep yourself free from the drama of Jessie Whiting. I'm not saying I make drama, but it does seem to find me. So, who are the emails for, anyway? If Mr. Bow Tie isn't going to read my emails, is someone from the scholarship office going to read them? I don't really want to address my emails to “dear Mr./Miss disinterested mystery person from the scholarship office.” Or is nobody reading? Are these emails just for my own sake? Busy work?

  So, let's see, the deal was I write about school at least once a semester and how it's helping me make a difference in the world. Well, school doesn't start until tomorrow, but this can count as my quarterly email, right? Because I'm already making a difference in my new house. My roommates are Jemmica and Lakelyn. I'm making a difference in their world by not pointing out the ridiculousness of their names. Aren't I sweet? Aren't you glad you picked me to be your scholarship recipient?

  I'm glad you picked me. I'm glad my essay made you laugh. I bet it made you cry, too. The nice, perfumey Mrs. Lippett, who did my interview for this scholarship, said it made her cry. Isn't that cool? I have the power to make people’s mascara run. She said you were the one who made sure I became the recipient of the Scholarship for Change at the University of Utah, so I am inclined to like you already, Mr. Bow Tie. It does make me wonder who you are, though, and why you care about poor Jessie Whiting and that she makes the world a better place.

  Sincerely,

  Jessie “I'm gonna change the world” Whiting

  P.s. Don't tell anyone, but the bus ride to Salt Lake is the furthest I've ever traveled. Before that, the furthest I'd ever gone was the Grand Canyon on a school field trip.

  P.p.s. This was my mom's advice to me before I left for college: don't get pregnant. That's all. She does know I have never been on a date, right? Do you have any useful advice for me? Or more advice at least?

  To: [email protected]

  From: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: Dear Mr. Kind Donor Man

  Date: August 20, 2015

  Automatic reply: Thank you. Your message has been received.

  To: [email protected]

  From: [email protected]

  Subject: Jessie Girl

  Date: September 12, 2015

  Hey Jess,

  My crappy phone still isn't working. They have computers I can email from at the center, though, so it's no problem.

  I hope you aren't worrying too much about your brother. He has been at Uncle Dave’s for the past couple weeks, but Dave never said anything because Hunter threatened to run if he said anything. I got an email from him yesterday letting me know he's fine.

  The program is going great! I'm about halfway through treatment now, and I've made some great friends. I'll tell you more about it when you are home for Christmas. But I want you to know, I'm done with addiction. I'm done this time, I can feel it. I'm doing the best I can for you and Hunter, I hope you know that.

  So how is college? I hear it's one party after another. I wish there had been a rich donor to pay for me to go to college and have a good time. Oh well, at least I get to brag to all my friends about my daughter who has a scholarship at the University of Utah.

  Love,

  Mom

  To: [email protected]

  From: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: Jessie Girl

  Date: September 13, 2015

  Hi Mom,

  No worries about the phone not working. A phone plan is like the one thing my scholarship doesn't cover, so I try not to use many minutes if I can help it. Besides, I like writing emails.

  Have you talked to Uncle Dave? I'm glad Hunter is okay, but are you sure he isn't getting into trouble with his friends? He never responds to my texts or phone calls.

  I'm happy to hear that treatment is going well. This will be life-changing for you.

  Take care!

  Love,

  Jessie

  P.s. Do you have Uncle Dave's phone number?

  To: [email protected]

  From: [email protected]

  Subject: Dear Mr. Bow Tie

  Date: September 24, 2015

  I might write a little more often than the scholarship committee asked me to. I want to keep the emails as a sort of diary of my college years. That’s called killing two birds with one stone.

  College is fantastic. Did you go to college? It's so fun, isn't it? I only get lost about 42 times a day now - a definite improvement from the first day of class. My first day, I looked for a class for fifteen minutes before realizing I was in the wrong building.

  I’m really enjoying writing emails to you. Are you enjoying reading them? I’ve never emailed someone like this before. It’s faster to talk over the phone, but I kind of prefer writing. Can I tell you a secret? I imagine you are my sophisticated grandfather who lives overseas, so I write to you instead of calling because our sleep schedules are opposite. Do you mind being my overseas grandfather?

  What the heck? (Jemma says this all the time and it's rubbing off on me). But seriously, what the heck? I went to three classes today and got my syllabuses. Syllabuses’? Syllabi? I can't tell you the plural form of the word, and they expect me to write an 18-page paper about how popular culture influences decisions made by young adults. 18 pages! And probably not quadruple-spaced. I was pretty happy that my 21 on the ACT and 3.5 GPA got me into the University of Utah, but I feel like a Homer Simpson surrounded by Einsteins. I suspect my admissions essay about the mess my family is in helped. It wasn't as funny as the one I wrote for this scholarship - instead I really emphasized how the U of U is my only chance of breaking the cycle of addiction, poverty, and instability... that's all great that it helped me get here, but I think I'm going to fail. Maybe they just let me in so I could be the comic relief… which is a shame because I mostly just try to blend into the back wall so that nobody notices that this pathetic excuse of a college student, who doesn't know what “antithesis” means, somehow snuck in through the admissions process.

  That’s right, I am making a difference by helping the smart peo
ple around me feel smarter.

  Do you know that all the students here have their own laptops? At least I haven't met anyone yet that doesn't have one. Not that I go around meeting people and immediately asking about their laptop. They'd think I was casing them. Don't worry, I'm not. My one and only thieving experience ended with a box of juice-centered fruit snacks slipping out of my coat at the cash register and a lecture by a skinny, mean-looking lady who worked at the store. I was a bad six-year-old. Maybe I'll learn why I was so naughty after all the psychology classes I'll be taking the next four years.

  I already know what I'm going to save up for now that I have a monthly stipend: the dentist. Most of it is covered in my student health insurance, but paying 20% on probably like twenty cavities is going to add up. After cavities are taken care of then I'll worry about a laptop.

  Jemma is pretty cool. Her parents sent her to college with a car (named Sophie), and she told me I can use it anytime. If I crash it, I owe her a milkshake. It may be older than we are, but it runs! I will mostly be taking the bus, of course, but it's nice to have a car available. Transportation is pretty cool, isn't it? I can just go somewhere when I want to go there. This may seem obvious to you but it's a new concept for me, anyway.

  Jemma is the funnest person I've met. Lakelyn is the least fun person. I wonder how they ended up in the same house. Jemma knows about parties and fun things to do in Salt Lake. She isn't rich, so we do fun and cheap things together. We drove Sophie the car to Sugarhouse park yesterday and fed ducks. That doesn't sound too exciting, but Jemma got in the pond and started chasing ducks around. Now THAT was exciting.

  Lakelyn is from the most important family that you and I have never heard of. I still don't know her very well, but she drives a jeep and her hair and nails look professional. I'm suspecting that her makeup is tattooed on, because it always looks way too good. I don't think she chases ducks. Apart from her looks, she has a million-inch TV, fancy couches that she probably ordered from a pricey interior decorating store, and she wouldn't let me put my banana chair in the living room because “it doesn't go with the decor.” I'm afraid to ask, but she probably has lots of rules about not wearing shoes in the house and where I can eat my food.

  I'm glad you were able to find an opening here. It's a cute 3-bedroom house on Yuma street. Lakelyn actually owns the home (what kind of parent buys their kid a house as a “congratulations for getting into college” gift?), but her mom is making her rent out the other two rooms so she stays social (that's what Jemma overheard). The rest of the houses on the street are just normal families, although some of them have rented out their basements for college students. It's just so calm and safe - by far the nicest place I've ever lived. I’ve never seen a police car on this street and the people who live here keep their yards clean.

  On Saturday, Jemma took me up the canyon and we hiked to a little reservoir. We tossed rocks into the lake for a while then hiked from there to a waterfall. On our way down, Jemma strategically changed our pace so we could hike back with a group of guys we saw across the reservoir. She is a flirt.

  Jemma says that her brother, Adam, lives a couple miles away in an apartment with friends, so we will have guys to hang out with, too. Is it weird to write to an overseas grandfather about boys? I might - just warning you.

  P.s. What does ‘antithesis’ mean?

  P.p.s. I didn't know St. Peter was someone in the Bible, I thought it was a rock band. You should have seen all the funny looks I got.

  P.p.p.s.

  I took the 202 today and thought I'd head downtown,

  I ended up in Ogden, though, I'm still not quite sure how.

  So then I took the blue line, thinking that might be the track.

  I have no clue where I am now, but doing it in reverse should get me back.

  To: [email protected]

  From: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: Dear Mr. Bow Tie

  Date: September 24, 2015

  Automatic reply: Thank you. Your message has been received.

  To: [email protected]

  From: [email protected]

  Subject: Good News

  Date: September 29, 2015

  Hey Jess,

  I've got some awesome news. Ready? I've been sober for three months! Isn't that incredible? It's the longest I've gone since I was fifteen years old. I feel amazing. I feel like I can do anything. I might even do the college thing like you and try for a better job. If only I'd had the chance at your age to do college.

  Hunter is okay. He got into a bit of trouble after a party, but nothing serious. The cop that caught him and his friends didn't charge him for anything. Dave says if Hunter does anything else then he can't stay at his house any more. But now that I'm getting a handle on things, it will probably be good for him to come home.

  What if I come up and visit you? I think Chad would like meeting you, too. We are pretty short on cash right now, but you could share some love from that ridiculous scholarship you got. It's pretty awesome that they are paying you to go to college, but what could you even use that much money for on your own?

  See you soon.

  Love,

  Mom

  To: [email protected]

  From: [email protected]

  Subject: Getting Educated

  Date: October 2, 2015

  I'm learning so much at college. For example: most people go to the doctor once a year - not because they are sick, just as a checkup; you are supposed to leave a tip when you get your haircut; you can have movies digitally on your tv. I guess I knew that last one - I just hadn't seen it in real life before. Sophie is a stick shift, so Jemma is teaching me how to drive it. I haven't had a whole lot of practice on a stick since we only had a car for about eight weeks after I got my license. It was cheap and broke down before long. I didn't admit that to Jemma. I still haven't told her about my family and how I was raised. It's just more fun to pretend I'm normal.

  Okay, so Jemma is boy crazy. It’s all she talks about, really. I’m not sure how, but she is constantly going on dates. Lately, though, she’s only been talking about one boy: Trevin. Ironically enough, I just went on a date with him last week. It's all good between me and Jemma, though. We were on a triple date, and I preferred Lakelyn’s date, who happened to be Jemma’s brother, Adam. Trevin and Jake (Jemma’s date that night) are Adam’s roommates. They live off campus, and, yes, hanging out with them does make us 500% cooler. Because who wants to hang out with freshman boys, am I right? I have a date tonight with Adam. We will be doubling with Jemma and Trevin. Adam is majoring in one of the engineering majors. I can't remember which one. Aren't they all the same thing, anyway? Adam is cuter than any engineers I know. He is blonde, has a cleft in his chin, AND dimples. He's like a manly Jemma.

  ***

  It's past midnight now, but I saved my email as a draft so I could come back to it and tell you all about my date with Adam. We went to see a superhero movie because Adam and Trevin are obsessed with action movies. Jemma seemed to like it, too. Or maybe that's because she was holding Trevin’s hand. Adam sat as far away from his sister as possible - I guess it would be awkward for your roommate to be dating your sister. I thought the movie was overdone, like any action movie, but I loved it anyway. The seats were all recliner sofas, and we got dinner while we watched. I calculated, and Adam spent $27.90 on just me! That's not including his ticket and dinner! He didn't seem to think anything of it, either, except that he looked at me funny when I apologized that it cost so much.

  I'm only writing about boys, aren't I? But, come on, boys are more interesting than classes. Uh, let's see… I had a midterm in math 1030. It did not go well. I studied and felt so confident, too. I felt pretty good after the test, but they were all trick questions, or they used the wrong answer key. The 15-year-old boy that sits next to me in lab happily showed me his 100%. I quickly shoved my 38% deep into my backpack after that. He lives at home and someone
has to drive him to class. So, ha!

  I started volunteering Saturday mornings at the soup kitchen. I really do want to make a difference, and I hope this is a good way of doing it. I invited Adam and Jemma to join me. Jemma's going to do it - she isn't one to be left out of something potentially fun, and I really talked up how fun it would be. Adam just rolled his eyes and said he'd rather sleep in and we were being naive do-gooders.

  College is so much fun! There are tons of cool people to talk to, classes to study for, and parties to hang out at. I wonder if I'll sleep at all. High school was okay as far as classes were concerned, but not so fun socially. I had people I would talk to, but I didn't want anyone close enough to me to know what my life was actually like. In college, I can be whoever I want. I'm not limited by what my family is. What a refreshing feeling! And, to top it off, I only have to think and stress about myself. It's such a nice, selfish time of life, isn't it?

  I'm trying to figure out my schedule for next semester, and I think I'll take a beginning swimming class. Do you think I'll be the only one that doesn't know how to swim at all? I can just picture everyone floating on their back while I sink to the bottom.

  Jemma just popped her head in and said, “I'm feeling homesick, aren't you?” I told her I thought I could manage.

  From your favorite scholarship recipient,

  Jessie

  To: [email protected]

  From: [email protected]

  Subject: Re: Getting Educated